Asian women are often applauded for “aging so well.” Is it possible for us to grow old without being haunted by the pressure of desirability?

Every time I go to visit my hometown, I have to hear, “You have gotten darker.” When I laugh and ask, “Why does the fairness of my skin matter?” I am being “rude” by not agreeing with the elders. Every time I go to visit my relatives, I…

When I was young, I spent countless summer days playing in my backyard. But the thrill of baking mud pies and burying time capsules faded as soon as I came into the house.  “Look how dark you’ve gotten,” my mom and grandma scolded. In high school and college,…