taken by Audrey Yao and Chenyang Lai

*trigger warning for self harm and violence

lost in her daydreams

with her mind miles away 

she stares off into the darkness

wishing she did not stray

with everyone around her 

she can’t help but feel alone

love and care was a stranger

but she craves it like a drug

in her mind, she was a monster

with a life full of fun

putting people out of their misery

by draining out their blood

she felt guilty for her actions 

couldn’t forgive herself for her mistakes

she numbed herself constantly

became a stranger with no faith

her mind was naive

it sent her right into his arms

kept a smile on her face

when he only brought her more harm

his love for her seemed infinite

he said he’d take a bullet for her any day

such a shame she fell in love

with the thought of him in her brain

oh, she should have known 

not to trust another 

for she failed herself, 

got lost and ultimately felt smothered 

she depended on him for everything

even saving her from herself

and when she pulled the trigger

all that’s left was her blood


National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE

National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Stop it Now! 1-888-PREVENT

Suicide Hotline 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433) // 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-827-7571


Amanda is a fourth year Anthropology (B.A.) major and an Asian American Studies minor. She enjoys reading, photography, and food.

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