To the dear someone who might want to be my friend,

The first thing you must do is forget that I’m Chinese.

Second, you must never forget that I’m Chinese.

(As much as I’d like to), no, I don’t play five instruments. I do, however, enjoy and sing Disney songs in the shower.

Yes, I highly value studying, learning, and working. I list them as priorities. It’s not because Confucius said so—it’s the simplest way to become empowered. But why yes, I would love to attend that social gathering (i.e. party) with you next week Friday.

And, if the Chinese and U.S. governments finally flip out against each other and enter into World War III, please don’t go Red Scare on me and scream“Communist!” at me. The term has done nothing wrong to deserve such an unjustified negative connotation.

Lastly, if you decide that I’m a suitable friend candidate, don’t wear your masks. True beauty lies within. As consolation for ever having to read my terrible writing, I now offer a lifelong term of genuine friendship.

P.S. If you felt déjà vu while reading this… my hint is Pat Parker.

Not yet yours, but sincerely,



Lucy is a fourth year undergrad student who loves reading, video games, and animals. She is an Asian American Studies Major and experiences existential crisis on a regular basis.

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